Does this still work?

Hi. Been awhile and have a blog I'd really like to write. Not only want to write, but need to write. Just really need to check first and make sure I can do it without my whole email list getting it

Fargo flood

In the past week I've read daily about the Fargo area and the flood that's currently happening there. Fargo is only a few hours away from us. My Grandma lived there until she passed away a few years ago and I still have relatives in both Fargo and Harwood although to be honest they aren't relatives I've kept in contact with over the years. As a kid I remember going to Fargo every year a few times to see Grandma and also do all our school shopping. I have many memories of Fargo over the years.

I wanted to share this video that was on YouTube. I found it through reading the Fargo online paper at http://www.inforum.com/ and I think it really shows some people pulling together in a big way to try to do what they could to help.. maybe it brought a bit of a tear to my eyes. Not because of the "natural disaster" unfolding, but because it shows a whole lot of people pulling together to help eachother. People that came to help because they are actually being affected by the flood and also a whole lot of people that showed up with nothing of their own at risk, but simply to help.

They managed to throw over 3 million sandbags in a week's time and have done an incredible job at protecting homes and the city. The river crested at 40.82 feet on Saturday. It's dropped to 39.16 feet, but is still 22 feet over flood stage. The river is holding and slowing dropping, but it's not over yet and even today they're expecting another 12 to 14" of snow and high winds. Hopefully the dikes will hold.

I've read many, many opinions and heard many sides to the story. The politics of the flood aren't my point in the least. This video simply captures a pretty incredible group of people and a side of humanity that I guess still seems somewhat surreal in today's world. I simply wanted to share it.

We WON...... maybe, at least for today

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say some things that I'm very sure there are plenty of people that will take issue with and disagree with. At this point, if that makes me a bad mom or a bad person, then so be it.

Children today are self-centered, irresponsible, lazy, whiners who think that life should be handed to them on a silver platter with gold trim. I may as well elaborate since I've actually made the rude statement.....

First off self centered. Yes, narcissistic little creatures that have very little empathy or understanding of anyone else's role in their existence. They exist, therefore it shall be.... whatever "it" may be in the particular circumstance. I want, therefore I shall have. I think, therefore everyone else shall agree. I've changed my mind, therefore everyone else shall too. My God, they're worse than a woman with PMS that also ran out of her prozac. Trust me, as a woman, I know..... (either that or get me some prozac NOW!) Our creatures have pushed our limits today. Each one wants to play with this particular other one RIGHT NOW, but not this other kid. (we have 4). Then 5 minutes later they switch it up based on the raging, whining or bitching of one of them. So basically it's a constant fight as to who gets to play in this one's room or that one's room or with this toy or that based all on how ONE kid feels at that particular moment.... which brings about.....

Irresponsibility. After a few hours of this, there are toys strewn from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. We have 20 acres, there are toys strewn 10 acres away from "home base" even. Do you think that it's anyone's job to actually pick up these toys and return them to their rightful places so they're available to play with next time? Yes, actually, they do believe it's someone's job..... just not theirs. On another note, our two oldest are actually the worst for feeding time mess. They seem to think that he who eats the fastest gets the most. This should have become obvious over the years. It is what it is. You have a certain amount of meat, a certain amount of vegetables and a certain amount of fruit on your plate. Just because you shit-canned your broccoli under your chair does NOT mean you get some dessert. Alas, they still try this tactic daily.... and when actually asked to pick up said broccoli.. they cringe and act like we've just asked them to execute all the baby kittens in North America.

Lazy? My statement of calling them lazy doesn't even really pertain to the above mentioned scenarios, although I suppose those could be translated that way too if you chose to. Lazy actually comes on a different note, or notes. Take school work.... if we can get it done in 10 minutes and it looks like crap that still beats spending an extra 2 minutes to erase nicely or print nicely and make things look presentable. If we can get by with a one word answer it's well worth saving the effort of writing a complete sentance. Or....actually WALK somewhere? Why, if we can drive or take the ATV's? God forbid we shall exert any physical effort when we can avoid it.
We will walk around our boots and coats in the entryway rather than expend the extra energy to actually hang them up.... GASP! As if that would ever even be considered to be "our" job. After all we currently need to get back in the playroom to destroy what's just be picked up while we were outside.

So we cracked..... actually we probably just did what any normal self-respecting adult should have been doing all along. We didn't beat them, we didn't yell at them, we didn't even point out to them just exactly how we had to walk uphill to school in -40 temps every day of our childhoods. We simply offered them an alternative for their boredom (they must be bored if they have all this time to fight). We wrote down 8 fairly equal jobs and put them in a hat. We made each child draw 2 jobs. They were burning mad at us. They glared at us and fumed and you could tell they were just boiling beneath the surface, but they didn't actually open their mouths to voice it. It took them about 45 minutes to complete these jobs (and we have a relatively neat house now). We haven't seen them since. We assume they are out in the treehouse my husband built for them a couple years ago. That's where they said they were going. We saw one across the field actually scouring the edge of the woods for something about 1/2 hour ago. Every once in awhile we hear an ATV.

In a nutshell, they apparently aren't bored anymore. They've actually gone outside into the woods and found things to imagine and play. They've got the world by the balls compared to so many children.... maybe today they're actually exploring that world.

So... .when's dinner and what are we having?

Long time, no blog

I've neglected my blog for the past few weeks. Been busy around here with quite a few different issues, some good and some not so good. I got online this morning and read your comments on my last post and just have to say ...... glad I could make you laugh! On a side note to that post, my husband didn't learn from my nail gun error and did the exact same thing to his thumb a couple days later. That time it was me that got the laugh :))

Preoccupation and the power tool

You'd think that by now I'd learn. If my mind is going 100 different directions and can't focus... it's a good time to avoid power tools. However, they always say that trying to keep yourself busy is a good way to avoid focusing on something you don't want to over-focus on. So once again, I walked myself out to the shop and started building things. A very simple project really. I just wanted to make a wooden box that my kids could use Mod Podge to decorate with all their little "finds" this morning exploring in the woods. Simple square box out of simple 3/4" pine. Anyway...... over the past few years I've learned a few valuable lessons:

1) You cannot drill long-ways through a piece of Diamond Willow while using nothing but "hope" to ensure you don't drill out the side of the wood and into your hand. That smarts. When you think you've outsmarted this process and use your feet to hold the stick from spinning, there is also no guarantee you won't drill out and into your foot. Both things - same day.

2) If a framing nail gun feels too big and awkward while hanging from a dangerous height by nothing but sheer will and the little bit of pine pitch leaking from the 2x4's - it probably is. Don't pull the trigger back and pray that when you smack it against the wood it's going to magically actually shoot where you intended. Sorry for the dent in your car ma'am...... and by the way - don't stand under that truss because it's really not anchored as well as you might think.

3) Today's lesson (and this is a no-brainer). Keep your hand out of firing range of the 1 1/2" staples coming out of the staple gun at 120 psi. I actually managed to staple my pinky finger to the palm of my hand. Even more amazing, I managed to not scream when my husband pulled the staple out and freed my little pinky finger from it's entrapment. It's now turning a really pretty mix of black, blue and red. Nothing a little liquid Band-Aid and a Miller Light can't fix, but I've given up for the day.

Scammers at work again

Today the UPS man brought us two overnight envelopes from different states. In each envelope was a check for $3,000. Nothing else, just a check made out to my husband. Of course we knew better than to think we had somehow magically just struck it lucky so we started trying to find out where these checks came from.

A quick anywho search provided us a phone number to the companies who's accounts the checks were supposedly drawn on. One was a school and the other was a fairly large humanitarian grant and fellowship organization. I left messages at both places asking if they were aware that they had magically sent us these checks. I was fairly bored today so since I hadn't actually reached a person at either place I called the banks the checks were drawn on. This was fairly interesting. First of all I learned that yes, the account numbers and bank routing numbers were correct and the account holders were accurate. I told both banks that I believed these checks to be fraud on their account holders. I was actually told by one Wachovia bank employee that she didn't know if they were or not and I should just cash them. WOW! Glad I don't bank with that particular bank or branch.

From there I decided to call the people who's names were on the UPS envelopes as the senders of the checks. Again, I apparently have too much time on my hands today. The names and cities didn't match the checks so it was obvious that they were also being used by the scammers. I talked to a lady at one of the stores that supposedly sent the checks. She was familiar with what this was all about. Apparently their UPS shipping account had been hijacked by the scammers and their account with UPS has been used to send quite a few of these checks. Some people got checks as big as $15,000. Now I felt kinda bad. I was only worth $3,000? No fair. But anyway, she referred me to her corporate office and to a very intellegent and helpful lady. From there it's gone to the FBI.

These scammers have actually gotten a hold of legitmate checking accounts for companies and organizations and have printed out their own checks drawn on these people's accounts. The trick, as I've learned in the past, is that they send us a check for $3,000 to purchase something we have in our shop. The item they are purchasing is worth less than the $3,000 check. Then they contact us and want us to forward payment out of the overpayment to their shipper so that the shipper will come and get the item. There is no shipper. There is no one coming to get an item. They profit when someone actually does send them the requested money for shipping. The checks appear good until the account holder actually finds out their account is being used.

I've never actually fallen for this scam, but it's been tried on us numerous times now. Just thought it may be interesting to others out there.

And why that actually made life worse

So I said it. Apparently what I wrote was bad. My husband has took off out of here pissed at me. I haven't done enough. Apparently enough is something only he can define and I haven't met that quota. Oh well. I've spent too much time caring and I also have spent too much time trying. I'm on my own and I really wish I had someone that would be supportive of me. I don't and it's too late to hope that would change. I have to just focus my energy on what I need to to get through the next weeks or months or however long it takes. I hate the hypocrisy of this world.

The blog I shouldn't write - my memory

There are so many reasons I shouldn't write this and yet so many reasons I should. There are others out there who have been in my position. Some haven't had the opportunity to own this for as long as I have. Some have had the resolution happen in a short time. Some haven't ever lived to see it resolved. I have friends and family that fall into those categories and I hurt along with them. In no way do I make light of something that isn't light.

Here I am though in my own unique situation. I'm about to face yet another day in particular that has the potential to be the beginning of the literal end of my life. It's not today or tomorrow, but it's within the next two weeks. The exact date is my own personal secret. I keep it that way because I don't want anyone else to have the power to make it into anything more than I am willing to let it be. This is a mentality that I've been able to reform and develop over the past 15 years. There have been other days exactly as this one. I've had 4 such days in the past 2 years. They are getting closer and closer together, which is a little scary if I want to let it be, but they are still mine to decide who I share it with and who I don't. I told my own dad only last week that this issue is back and has been. Then I politely asked him to change the subject. He's seen family members he loved not make it and I know it worries him to see me face it, but still, if anything what I'd want him to learn from me is that it really doesn't define me and I won't let it. If anything, we should all have the ability to see "life" from this perspective. I can guarantee we'd view life differently as a society if we all saw it from this vantage point.

I have cancer. Then I don't. Then I do. I see a specialist every 6 months to monitor me. I don't totally understand it except that one of these days it won't be something to just "watch" anymore. One of these days it's going to be punt position time. I really don't want to understand it. I honestly don't care about big words and terms. If there's something I can do, then great. If not, don't confuse me with terminology that totally escapes anyone without 18 years of education. I got the news 6 months ago that the cells are back. I go in within the next 2 weeks to see if they continued to grow or if they mysteriously receded again. No one I've met in the medical field can tell me where this comes from, what causes it to happen to me or why it can't be stopped. No one can define it. I've had things pulled out of me that medical science can't actually name or explain in relation to this. The Mayo clinic hasn't ever seen something like what my surgeon sent in 9 years ago right before my son was born. So I guess if I have nothing else, at least I have uniqueness. And that's something at least.

Since I was 16 years old, I've never had the security of knowing I still had a lifetime to accomplish what I wanted to. I can't rely on the adage of "I'll perfect that attitude someday". I have to be ok with who I am TODAY. I've been faced with looking at my life as "what I wish I had accomplished" more than once, more than twice. I'm sitting on that precipice again. Have I done enough? Nope. Still nope. Even though I've had fair warning I still haven't done it.

I'm not criticizing myself by saying that. I've done some, but I don't think it's ever something that is "over". I don't think anyone can honestly ever say they've done enough and it's time to do no more. What I find interesting is people who try to think about "what would I do?" Tim McGraw does a decent job of posing the question. Live Like You Were Dying. Why don't we? If you were potentially given a "date" what would you do? What's important?

I've built a life that I can give to things that are important to me. I've managed over the past few years to do things I am proud of. Sure, I've still done stupid things I'm not proud of, but I've also made a difference. Not to many people I'm sure, but to a few and who's to say those few are any less important than a "many"? I've found the mitten given as a last gift to a child before his mom died. That's important.

We only get one time around. That time may end tomorrow or it may go on for a very long time. None of us should bank on the tomorrow though. I've gotten more enjoyment out of life not worrying about what people think of me or what tomorrow brings for me than anything. These times when it gets thrown right in my face make me way more aware of what I haven't done. I'm lucky my husband understands this to some degree, or at least accepts it. I don't play the game that most play. I'm not in this life to impress anyone. I'm not here to try to convince anyone that I'm somehow worthy of their respect. I'm just me and that's good enough. This time - I'm ready.

Jola Creations

I've started a new blog and am just starting to put some of my woodworking projects out there. Take a peek if you'd like

New Blog - Jolacreations.blogspot.com

New store - jolacreations.etsy.com

What to sell and What to keep?

I've been clearing out everything that I can sell to pull through this winter. Hoping there will be work this summer. If not, at least we put off the inevitable for a few more months. We've sold the big ticket items already. We're down to searching our minds and our closets. Personally, I don't have alot left since I went through this process a few years back in my divorce.

Then way in the back of a closet I came across this jacket. I smiled. The memories came back. I shoved them back. I still tried to smile, but things are different today, right?

Today I found a blog one of my follower's wrote and it simply contained some music and asked if we "remembered the 90's?" God no, I tried to block out the 90's, but wait.... what's this?? music... hmmm, I like music. I listened and the first song on the list was one that used to play at national snocross races. Right before the big finale. The one that got us all going and got the blood pumping and made us proud that we were there. The one that even affected those of us in the pits on the track. Larger than life? maybe a little. Hindsight being what it is, maybe a lot. My head actually raised up to that position it used to always hold. Strong, arrogant to some degree, a little mischevious grin on my face and I didn't look in a mirror, but I felt the sparkle in my eyes. Holy hell! I hadn't even realized it had been gone until I felt it come back.

The jacket stays. I don't care if it would put food on the table for a few days. It's something I can never replace and those memories just showed me a side of myself I had almost let go. If you're bored, search "Amanda Johnson snocross" on google. She's my baby sister, although we aren't really in touch anymore, but we were back then. She was a force to be reckoned with, still is I'd bet. I wasn't as brave, or crazy, as her back then, but I could hold down a fort better than the best and secure sponsors to continue the crazy. I loved being there and the other names you read in the articles were awesome people that I'm proud to have met. I could laugh, and celebrate, and live. There isn't a price I could put on those memories. The jacket stays.

Thank you Psycho W4nk for your post reminding me of the 90's. Saved me from selling off a piece of my memories.

Crab Legs for Dinner TONIGHT

THE BARGE HAS LEFT THE PREMISES!

My husband drove out of the yard at about 2 a.m. with the barge in tow. My son has been waiting over a year for this event. He's a seafood fanatic. He'd eat nothing but seafood if we'd let him. To try to teach him a little something about his "tastes" we told him that since his favorite crab legs cost quite a bit of money we won't be buying anymore until we sell this boat. We never thought it'd take a year to make good on that promise, but it has. He's spent the past 365+ days looking out his window every night to see if it's gone. Today - it finally is.

So today, little man will be picked up at school by momma and taken to the store. He'll be allowed to finally put that big package of crab legs into our cart and proceed to checkout. I love days like this when I get to see the little light in their eyes at the anticipation of something grand.

Birthday Present!

My sister gave me an awesome birthday gift. A box of Aveda Hair and Skin products! I've used these products for a few years and so far have found none that didn't live up to their promises. I could live without Aveda if I had to (and I very well might in the near future), but I sure wouldn't like to have to live without it. So thank you sis for giving me an extra Aveda stash for my bathroom cupboard!

Nothing to Be Ashamed of in Today's World....

Today was the February birthday party at my family home. My uncle, my mom, my son and I all share birthday's during the month of February. This year there weren't an over abundance of gifts exchanged which is a bit rare for my family. However, this year has been a bit different than we're all used to. We're all pretty much dependent on a non-existent construction industry. Our levels of dependency vary greatly. My dad is near retirement and has owned his own company for over 25 years and my uncle is retired and simply picks up extra jobs here and there to supplement life. They both are sitting in such a position where they can sit back and really dislike this economy and also know they maybe can't totally enjoy a life of leisure quite as soon as they wished, but they don't have to worry about losing anything. I have two sisters, one I honestly can't say anymore what effect this economy is having on her life, although it's also related to construction, as she moved a great distance away and there's a rift there that I can only hope time will eventually heal. My other sister was at my parent's house today. Her husband has actually had to relocate for work to a job way up near the arctic circle or face unemployment. She's managed to hold onto her job here and is still doing ok aside from being separated from her husband a great majority of the time. My husband and I have been holding onto our own company for the past few years through some really rough times. We've sold off most of our equipment, all of our toys and the savings account is gone. We're down to trying to decide what our next move is going to be and we honestly don't have that answer since the only thing we both know is how to keep going as long as we possibly can find a way.

I feel really good today though for one reason. Today it felt like, for maybe the first time in a long time, that we really were together as a family. Today there was no competition, no comparison and no expectation. Today it actually felt that there was acceptance. Maybe this will turn into a different kind of world in some good ways too.

Things I saw at the pizza restaurant

It's our "kid weekend". Being from previous relationships, my husband and I both have our kids here every other weekend. This is one of the weekends we have them all. We ended up eating out last night. We chose a family pizza restaurant where there are usually other people with kids. I guess I just don't feel right about dragging 4 kids under the age of 10 into a "nice" restaurant where big people go to actually ENJOY a dinner as adults. However, what I saw last night disturbed me even in a child-friendly restaurant.

One family came in and apparently the parents already knew they didn't want to sit with their own kids if they wanted any chance of a peaceful dinner. So, they put their kids in a different booth and went and sat down in a booth a little ways away from their offspring. The dad had to go do damage control a few times during dinner, but I'm also sure it was a few less times than the people seated directly by those kids would have wished for.

This was one situation where Karma popped up almost instantly though. The parents had just ordered and gotten their beverages when in walked a mom and 2 kids. They sat in the booth that was back to back with the first set of parents. This woman's 4 year old immediately displayed to the whole restaurant that evolution may be logical and yes, we may have originated from monkeys. He climbed up on the table and launched himself across the back of the booth, upside down, so that his head was hanging down into the first parent's booth right about eye to eye with the mother who had managed so nicely to ditch her own monkeys. He squaked and sqeaked and thought this was a hilarious game he'd just invented. His mother did nothing, didn't even acknowledge that he was doing anything inappropriate. He finally came back fully into his own booth when the waitress brought drinks to his table. He stood on the table, squatted down into a crouch and sucked a big slurp of his pop from his glass. Again, no response from mom.

Then I looked around my own table and sure enough, there sat our 4, chewing with open mouths, crumbs all around their plates and pizza sauce dripped down the front of their shirts.

I'm on strike again...... at least for today

I haven't written for a few days. I've thought about it, but just haven't had the time. I've actually attempted to WORK this past week. I've been to the accountant, the bank, spent some time out in the shop and on a job site and once again volunteered myself at school for the day this Friday.

Sounds good, right? Let's just say that in accomplishing what needed to be done I've succeeded in creating a newer, bigger pile of stuff to fall into the "what needs to be done" category. My desk is a fire hazard.

Yesterday I almost cheerfully tackled the biggest new project of switching all our accounting to accrual instead of cash. After about 4 hours of entering stuff into my accounting software, I printed out this really sweet looking little report of everything financial about our business AT THIS EXACT MOMENT! Wow, was I impressed (almost). Two hours later I proudly pulled my husband over to the computer to take a look at my impressive accomplishment. Big smile on my face, waiting for the pat on the ass that usually follows such a brilliant display of my abilities....... I opened the accounting program and ...... IT LOOKED EXACTLY AS IT HAD ON DECEMBER 31, 2008. Another shining example of how I can manage to go even further backwards while attempting to move forward.

God bless the "save" button and thank you "Murphy" for making sure I hadn't pushed it. Today I am striking from my own business as a way of protesting my own stupidity........

Blog Award - I'm a lucky winner!

I opened my comments today to find a special one from Pedro. He was kind enough to nominate ME for a blog award. Thank you Pedro.... much appreciated for sure!

Now the ball is in my court and I have a few rules I must follow as a recipient of this award:

1) choose 5 bloggers who I think are also worthy of this award to pass it on to

2) List 10 things about myself that others don't know

3) Post a quote

4) Now I can post the award on my blog

So...... here we go!

First of all I've run across many blogs that I enjoy. Here are 5 of my favorites:

1. Mrs. Robinson's House



2. The Gravel Farm



3. The Flawed Blog



4. Handbag Cave



5. Faker

Take a peek at them sometime. Some will make you laugh and others will make you think. Sometimes they'll do both!

Next..... 10 things about me... hmmm.. I guess they won't be secrets anymore

1. I'm pretty much the "black sheep" of my family due to my views and thoughts


2. I'm actually fairly intellegent and if IQ were truly any measure of how successful a person should be, I should me a millionaire any day now :)


3. Even though I sometimes come across as fairly crass, I do actually have a soft heart


4. I enjoy alot of the "old fashioned" hobbies, such as quilting and canning/freezing my own vegetables from the garden


5. I'm fairly creative and enjoy designing and building unique things out of wood and stone


6. I used to dream of becoming a concert pianist and love playing piano (especially classical music)


7. I grew up in an excavating family and worked in the gravel pits or on jobs on and off since I was a kid. I think that upbringing is a big part of why I don't do well in the confines of a typical office setting. It's also where I first learned how to swear like a trucker :)


8. I love to go fishing, but I hate eating fish. Good thing the rest of my family hates fishing, but loves to eat fish... gives me the peace and quiet fishing time and a useful reason for doing it


9. I have a high sex drive. Kind of personal, I know, but I'm running out of things to say!


10. I hate doing laundry and dishes more than anything else (except maybe cleaning the bathroom).

As for a quote, I don't know who said it, but I read it somewhere a few years back and it's always stuck in my mind:

Some people are like slinkies. They aren't really good for anything, but they're still fun to push down a flight of stairs.

The Day the Music Died

Photo of Monument at Crash Site from Wikipedia

American Pie Lyrics - Don McLean
A long, long time ago...I can still remember

How that music used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those people dance

And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver

With every paper I'd deliver.

Bad news on the doorstep;

I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried

When I read about his widowed bride,

But something touched me deep inside

The day the music died.

So bye-bye, Miss American Pie.

Drove my Chevy to the levee,

But the levee was dry.

And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye

Singin', "this'll be the day that I die.

"this'll be the day that I die."

Tonight marks a sad anniversary. A great loss to early American Rock and Roll. A case of the flu, a coin toss and a need to get some laundry done sealed the fate of 3 great musicians.

On February 3rd, 1959 in a frigid Iowa cornfield, in a small private airplane, JP Richardson (the Big Bopper), Ritchie Valens and Buddy Holly lost their lives along with their pilot Roger Peterson.

Stepping outside tonight in the vast frozen "midwest" a chill runs through me. Not because of the cold, although temperatures tonight are already nearing -20 with the windchill where I live. My chill tonight is because I can't help but think about the events of that evening and how I too would have counted myself "lucky" to have won a coin toss to get a seat on that plane. My chill tonight is because it is so quiet, as it must have been in that field before the wreckage was found. Great artists, incredible music silenced.

The tour bus had a faulty heater and had already caused frostbite to at least one person. I too may have chosen to charter a seat on a plane for $36 rather than face another 5 hours or better on a freezing cold bus in the middle of the night. Add a case of the flu to the situation and I'd have also asked for a seat on the plane to expedite my arrival to a nice warm bed. (Waylon Jennings of Buddy Holly's band gave up his seat to the Big Bopper at just such a request)

I'm 32 years old. I don't remember the events of that night 50 years ago by first hand news accounts. I know of those events only by account of my parents and movies made since that day. I know the music of these men from listening to dad's "oldies" station in the truck all my years growing up or listening to mom's old records on the turntable.

Chantilly Lace, The Purple People Eater, LaBamba, Donna, Peggy Sue, That'll Be the Day..... and the list of songs they left behind goes on and on. Tonight as I sit here playing some of these songs from the past it occurs to me that the music didn't die. The music will live on as long as there are those of us who keep it alive.

Goodnight Mr. Richardson, Mr. Valens and Mr. Holly....... and thank you.

Do I have to?

Don't I wish it were actually this simple.

I finally cried

Yesterday finally made me cry......I made it through the tax forms, 1099's and 1096 forms I had to fill out. Not without quite a bit of frustration, but I made it. In the midst of doing tax stuff, my mom called to remind me that I was about to be another year older.... thanks mom. All that really reminded me of is that my 7 year old's b-day is also coming up and all he really wants is a Nintendo DS. I can't justify that amount of money on a birthday gift at the moment so that makes me feel kind of bad. My day just kind of continued down that path. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did, and I still haven't come up with a way to keep this family alive in this economy. Still hadn't cried though....... until

I was just sitting down at the computer to surf a little and maybe write something when the kids came through the door off the school bus. It's always a bit chaotic for a few minutes while they tell me about the latest catastrophe at the lunch table or how one kid or another ended up doing time in the "take a break" chair. My littlest was quieter than usual yesterday. He's normally going 90 miles a minute, both in movement and in voice. Yesterday he kind of wandered off to his room without saying much. About 5 minutes later he was back with a question....

"Momma, one of my classmate's house burned down last night. Would it be ok if I gave him some of my toys since his all burned in the fire?" He took me back to his room and showed me what he had picked out to give this kid. I told him that I was proud of him and that it was very nice that he was thinking about someone else. Of course he could give whatever he'd like to to his friend.

New toys have been pretty scarce around here for the past couple years. As we've watched the construction economy bottom out, we've had to learn how to make every dollar stretch as far as we can. Even that may not be enough in the end. Bottom line is that my son knows he won't be getting replacement toys for the ones he's giving away. More than that though, he can look around and see that he still has "some" and this kid has "none" and to this 6 year old.... that's all he needs to know.

Then I came back out to my office and I cried. How am I so lucky to have this "little man" in my life? As big people we all seem to think it's our job to teach these little people and show them the ways of the world..... know what I think? Maybe they already know and what we're actually showing them isn't such a great thing. Maybe the rest of us should learn from them for a change.

I'm proud of you Trev!

My Environmental Side.... Kinda

I'm not really sure what you'd call me. I don't think I can be called an environmentalist considering the following:

1. I make my living building things out of trees.

2. I am not a vegetarian by any means.

3. I hate doing dishes and quite often use paper plates.

4. I drive an SUV.. a big one

However, I do have my soft side. I've been feeding and sheltering this little "cereal squirrel" for 2 years. At least I think it's the same one and this winter he's brought along a friend. He lives in a box of cultured stone I never put on a house. The box of stone is under my dryer vent, so he kind of has his very own, clean linen smelling, heat ventilation system. Every day he gets the leftover cereal my boys didn't eat. He does not like certain brands, so I take this into account when buying the kids' breakfast food. He prefers bland colored cereals, none of that obnoxious looking bright red or blue stuff. So far, he hasn't let me get close enough to actually feed him by hand (I've heard some do). I keep trying though and he keeps acting like I'm some giant crazy lady hell-bent on scaring his little squirrel heart into an early grave. Maybe someday he'll realize I may be crazy, but he's actually in no danger.

This year I was facing a winter of no work. In this climate construction comes to a grinding halt during the winter. Considering construction was already slow prior to winter, this year was going to be exceptionally boring for me. So this year I also decided to feed the deer. It's taken a month or so, but I've got their deer food pile moved up almost to my office door. Most of the time they don't mind if I open the door and stand there. They pitch a fit if I actually take a step outside, but they seem to tolerate me well enough if I stay on my side of the threshold. They've stopped running all the way back into the woods when I go out to dump more food. Now they just trot off to the edge of the lawn and watch me.

Here's the little one that just walked up as I was typing .....

Guess I better get out there and put the food out. The continuous succession of deer will continue now well into evening.

Overconfidence and the things it's taught me

So this morning I was scanning through emails in my inbox and came across this image that a friend had sent. I love it! Kind of made me reminisce over the stupid things I've done, or watched others do. How at the time, something can seem like such an incredible idea that you just can't believe you hadn't thought of it before. Followed shortly by proof of why you shouldn't have thought of it even now. Some examples? Here we go....

#1 The fire. Yes, fire. Diesel fuel is not a "safe" alternative to gasoline when trying to light a fire inside an outdoor wood furnace. One of the first lessons I learned as a single person.

#2 Vacuum Hose vs. Toilet Snake..... although the toilet snake is a good tool for retrieving Lego's from the toilet, it is not a good tool for retrieving Lego's from inside the central vacuum system hose. On a side note, using a knife to cut a small hole in that hose will not in any way help you "see" the issue...... Trust me. Once a vacuum hose gets a grip on a Lego sideways it's just over.

#3 Just because a 6-8" tree trunk looks smaller than most trees does not mean it will "give" if you hit it hard enough when trying to get your snowmobile between it and the neighboring tree. The tree will win every time.

#4 Do NOT put your finger near a turtle's mouth with the intention of proving to your kids that it's perfectly safe to touch the turtle. Turtles bite and then you have the issue of trying in vain to convince your kids that "it doesn't hurt" and "your not scared" as the turtle hangs on and pulls it's head (and your finger) inside it's shell. (things I learned from my dad)

#5 Tapping on a turtle shell as if you are a friendly visitor just checking to see if anyone is home will NOT make a turtle release your husband. (things I learned from mom)

#6 There is no such thing as "enough speed" to get your Chevy Cavalier through a newly poured concrete sidewalk even if the gas station you want to get to is on the other side of that sidewalk. (things I learned from my Grandma)

#7 It is not ok to assume a satellite toilet is empty before picking it up with a loader and carrying it down the street to a new location. (things I learned on jobsites)

I'm sure there are more. These 7 just sprang to mind on a moment's notice along with the following story which I'll leave you with as food for thought.......

My oldest son was 4 and my youngest was around 2. They had been read a book by their daycare provider about farms and baby animals. Apparently the book illustrated baby chickens come from eggs. One morning I got out of the shower to find the two of them in the kitchen. The oldest had already gone through one carton of eggs and was working on smashing each egg in the second carton. The youngest was skating and sliding through the egg mess all over the kitchen floor (and cupboards, chairs, you name it). In response to "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????" I got this reply ....... "but momma, we're just lookin for the one with the chick in it"

"I don't buy that kind of eggs boys, but maybe your dad does" :)

Someone Poked the BEAR!!!!!

It has happend. Someone poked the bear. (read my previous post if this seems somewhat strange to you)

I've deleted and restarted this post about 10 times so far. I think I need to simplify so I'm limiting myself to 3 of my biggest "pokes". This is a hard one for me to write because it hits some points that, in this small community, could really be detrimental to me. "Don't rock the boat" and all that jazz. On the other hand, the bear has been poked and I'm tired of trying to only say the 'right' things. I'm tired of worrying about everyone else's feelings when mine are ignored. Basically..... I'm tired of living in a lie along with the rest of this world. So here's my truth...... (and hopefully tonight I actually get some sleep)

What poked the bear?

#1 A society that doesn't believe anyone should really be responsible for themselves. A socialistic system that makes one person's laziness, or lack of drive, into everyone's problem. If you want a better life, why should it be MY job to provide it? Why shouldn't it be your job to find a way to make it happen for YOU? And on that note, on a personal level, why does our society believe I should lose everything to give someone else, who's not required to make any sacrifices, more?

#2 Posers. I say this at great risk as I live in a very small community, but from what I've seen and experienced (from both sides of the fence) is that people don't hold civic positions unless it benefits THEM. They put on a smile and they "fund-raise" and show up at school to give safety talks to the kids, but underneath, when you really need them...... they will fail you for the most part unless it makes them a 'hero' to actually help you. In all fairness, I know there are a few out there that are 'real'. I've met some. There are a few in this small town and every town across this country. They are incredible people and I'm greatful to them. I'm just saying, don't trust a "badge" or a "title" simply because someone else has paved the way for that badge or title. There are more than a few that ride that wave undeservingly. Sorry, but it's true and even the most "civic" of you can look around and if not at yourself, see others that this fits. If you can't - you aren't being honest about what you really see. I've been there.

3# Religion. People hide behind religion all the time. My husband was raised a Jehovah's Witness. He chose to leave that religion at the age of 18 because he didn't believe in it. He is not a stupid man. He is not a rebelious man. He is not an atheist or a non-spiritual man. He's actually pretty rational and able to sort through endless amounts of information and come up with his own interpretations and ideas. If he's guilty of anything, it's that he's an independent thinker.... he's not one of the cows that just follow along to wherever the other's are headed. (you've seen 'em - if not - just watch the entrance door at a Wal-Mart sometime) It cost him a great deal to actually believe in himself. It still does. He does not know his own nieces and nephews and never will....... thanks to religion??? Impressive. Way to go!..... I'm sure God is proud.

Poke the bear some more...... it's waking up. It's always interesting when this bear hits the wall and comes out fighting.

A Cold Winter's Night

Nighttime seems to have become my enemy lately. I've laid in bed for the past two hours trying to get back to sleep. That didn't work so I thought I'd check emails. Nothing there of course, most people don't return emails between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., but still, it was something to "do".

I have to be very, very quiet..... the house is full of sleeping little people and one big people that is still sound asleep. I envy him his ability to sleep even when his mind is overloaded and busy all day long. It's tempting to poke him in the ribs and wake him enough to let him know I can't sleep, but as my dad once said...... if you came across a hibernating bear, would you poke THAT???? True enough dad, good advice.

On a side note, just checked the weather and it's currently -26 degrees F. Hopefully school won't be late again this morning. A couple weeks ago our temperatures stayed so cold that school was late every day, except for the couple of days it was totally cancelled.

With that thought, I'm going to go sneak back into my warm bed and pretend to "wake up" with hubby in an hour or so. Sweet dreams!

The light dinner dilema

Him "should we go out for dinner?"
Me "That sounds really good, but I'm not all that hungry. Are you?"
Him "Not really, maybe we could make something light here and watch a movie."
Me "Sounds good!"

2 hours later we've created the world's most stuffed enchiladas and piled them high with all the cut up vegetables we both enjoy, not to mention a little extra cheese. Our "light dinner" had morphed into sci-fi proportions with little conscious thought from either of us.

As I rolled out of my bed this morning, literally..... I though I'd ask...... Does anyone else experience this dilema?

Finally Friday

A week in review........

My husband and I completed and installed this set of log stairs in a client's house. These projects are always fun for me. Gives me a nice feeling of accomplishment in the end. Now the staircase is ready for log railing and finishing. It's always a little amazing to start with an actual tree and end up with something like this. Not that it is an easy process especially with weather like we've been having. You have to start by crossing your fingers that the big outdoor saws work in the cold and that nothing breaks halfway through one of the long cuts. This time, it went perfectly! Then it's into the shop where at least it's nice and toasty warm. Hours of chainsaw work later, you have pieces.... lots of pieces and every one of those pieces now needs to be individually made beautiful. That's where I come in really handy. I like mindless work from time to time and there is nothing more mindless than spending hours and hours running a sander over a log.

I'm looking foward to later this month when we'll be back in the shop working on a log furniture order for another client.

My husband accomplished quite a bit more, or so he tells me. I haven't been back to the jobsite since install day, but I'm sure I'll get plenty of site time this weekend while the kids are at their dad's house. On the plus side, I get to wear a toolbelt and I'm pretty cute in one of those.

Hello and Welcome

It's another beautiful day here in the northland. Temperatures should reach above zero (maybe.... if we're that lucky). It's warmed up some though considering that when I threw my coffee out the door this morning it did not vaporize into thin air before hitting the ground. Instead, it hit the snowbank and left a brown spot that I will attempt to blame on the "serial squirrel". Unfortunately, this also means that I can't blow bubbles outside today and watch them freeze instead of pop when they land. So, here I am.......and if you're reading this, then here you are too!

Welcome. So what exactly is a blog titled "our life, our world and this mess" all about? It's intentionally vague for one reason...... I haven't decided yet. I know that everyday I spend way too much time online reading news articles and scrolling the horoscopes hoping mine will say "today you'll win the lottery". Since it hasn't said that yet, I haven't wasted much money on lotto tickets. Therefore, I haven't won and I'm still here.

I'm supposed to be figuring out a way for a carpenter/general contractor and a landscaper/dreamer to make income in this economy. So far, unfortunately, I haven't come up with any great ideas that are legal. Plenty that aren't, but I'm still holding out for the brain bubble that leaves me a legal option. Why? again.... I haven't decided yet.

I was on task a couple hours ago, but then the phone rang. This time it was NOT a bill collector. It was my hubby's ex, so I answered it because that's usually good for some entertainment at least. She insisted he had changed his cell phone number, I insisted he hadn't (which he hasn't). We played that game for a full 5 minutes before moving on to the real reason she's calling. Actually, I'm not sure we ever actually got to that.... I think it had to do with prescriptions for the kids. Apparently one of them projectile vomited all over his bedroom last night so he needs to go to the doctor today. There was some discussion about whether it's reasonable as a parent to expect a nearly 10 year old child to use a bucket for such issues. I did not win any points with my theory that accountability breeds responsibility. Possibly because those are just too big of words and the meaning was lost. At least that's the 'reason' I choose to believe :)

I plan to update this blog regularly. If nothing else, I'm hoping it will help to keep me somewhat sane during "Our life, our world and this mess". As for what it could do for you? Probably give you a laugh or two along the way.