Do I have to?

Don't I wish it were actually this simple.

I finally cried

Yesterday finally made me cry......I made it through the tax forms, 1099's and 1096 forms I had to fill out. Not without quite a bit of frustration, but I made it. In the midst of doing tax stuff, my mom called to remind me that I was about to be another year older.... thanks mom. All that really reminded me of is that my 7 year old's b-day is also coming up and all he really wants is a Nintendo DS. I can't justify that amount of money on a birthday gift at the moment so that makes me feel kind of bad. My day just kind of continued down that path. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did, and I still haven't come up with a way to keep this family alive in this economy. Still hadn't cried though....... until

I was just sitting down at the computer to surf a little and maybe write something when the kids came through the door off the school bus. It's always a bit chaotic for a few minutes while they tell me about the latest catastrophe at the lunch table or how one kid or another ended up doing time in the "take a break" chair. My littlest was quieter than usual yesterday. He's normally going 90 miles a minute, both in movement and in voice. Yesterday he kind of wandered off to his room without saying much. About 5 minutes later he was back with a question....

"Momma, one of my classmate's house burned down last night. Would it be ok if I gave him some of my toys since his all burned in the fire?" He took me back to his room and showed me what he had picked out to give this kid. I told him that I was proud of him and that it was very nice that he was thinking about someone else. Of course he could give whatever he'd like to to his friend.

New toys have been pretty scarce around here for the past couple years. As we've watched the construction economy bottom out, we've had to learn how to make every dollar stretch as far as we can. Even that may not be enough in the end. Bottom line is that my son knows he won't be getting replacement toys for the ones he's giving away. More than that though, he can look around and see that he still has "some" and this kid has "none" and to this 6 year old.... that's all he needs to know.

Then I came back out to my office and I cried. How am I so lucky to have this "little man" in my life? As big people we all seem to think it's our job to teach these little people and show them the ways of the world..... know what I think? Maybe they already know and what we're actually showing them isn't such a great thing. Maybe the rest of us should learn from them for a change.

I'm proud of you Trev!

My Environmental Side.... Kinda

I'm not really sure what you'd call me. I don't think I can be called an environmentalist considering the following:

1. I make my living building things out of trees.

2. I am not a vegetarian by any means.

3. I hate doing dishes and quite often use paper plates.

4. I drive an SUV.. a big one

However, I do have my soft side. I've been feeding and sheltering this little "cereal squirrel" for 2 years. At least I think it's the same one and this winter he's brought along a friend. He lives in a box of cultured stone I never put on a house. The box of stone is under my dryer vent, so he kind of has his very own, clean linen smelling, heat ventilation system. Every day he gets the leftover cereal my boys didn't eat. He does not like certain brands, so I take this into account when buying the kids' breakfast food. He prefers bland colored cereals, none of that obnoxious looking bright red or blue stuff. So far, he hasn't let me get close enough to actually feed him by hand (I've heard some do). I keep trying though and he keeps acting like I'm some giant crazy lady hell-bent on scaring his little squirrel heart into an early grave. Maybe someday he'll realize I may be crazy, but he's actually in no danger.

This year I was facing a winter of no work. In this climate construction comes to a grinding halt during the winter. Considering construction was already slow prior to winter, this year was going to be exceptionally boring for me. So this year I also decided to feed the deer. It's taken a month or so, but I've got their deer food pile moved up almost to my office door. Most of the time they don't mind if I open the door and stand there. They pitch a fit if I actually take a step outside, but they seem to tolerate me well enough if I stay on my side of the threshold. They've stopped running all the way back into the woods when I go out to dump more food. Now they just trot off to the edge of the lawn and watch me.

Here's the little one that just walked up as I was typing .....

Guess I better get out there and put the food out. The continuous succession of deer will continue now well into evening.

Overconfidence and the things it's taught me

So this morning I was scanning through emails in my inbox and came across this image that a friend had sent. I love it! Kind of made me reminisce over the stupid things I've done, or watched others do. How at the time, something can seem like such an incredible idea that you just can't believe you hadn't thought of it before. Followed shortly by proof of why you shouldn't have thought of it even now. Some examples? Here we go....

#1 The fire. Yes, fire. Diesel fuel is not a "safe" alternative to gasoline when trying to light a fire inside an outdoor wood furnace. One of the first lessons I learned as a single person.

#2 Vacuum Hose vs. Toilet Snake..... although the toilet snake is a good tool for retrieving Lego's from the toilet, it is not a good tool for retrieving Lego's from inside the central vacuum system hose. On a side note, using a knife to cut a small hole in that hose will not in any way help you "see" the issue...... Trust me. Once a vacuum hose gets a grip on a Lego sideways it's just over.

#3 Just because a 6-8" tree trunk looks smaller than most trees does not mean it will "give" if you hit it hard enough when trying to get your snowmobile between it and the neighboring tree. The tree will win every time.

#4 Do NOT put your finger near a turtle's mouth with the intention of proving to your kids that it's perfectly safe to touch the turtle. Turtles bite and then you have the issue of trying in vain to convince your kids that "it doesn't hurt" and "your not scared" as the turtle hangs on and pulls it's head (and your finger) inside it's shell. (things I learned from my dad)

#5 Tapping on a turtle shell as if you are a friendly visitor just checking to see if anyone is home will NOT make a turtle release your husband. (things I learned from mom)

#6 There is no such thing as "enough speed" to get your Chevy Cavalier through a newly poured concrete sidewalk even if the gas station you want to get to is on the other side of that sidewalk. (things I learned from my Grandma)

#7 It is not ok to assume a satellite toilet is empty before picking it up with a loader and carrying it down the street to a new location. (things I learned on jobsites)

I'm sure there are more. These 7 just sprang to mind on a moment's notice along with the following story which I'll leave you with as food for thought.......

My oldest son was 4 and my youngest was around 2. They had been read a book by their daycare provider about farms and baby animals. Apparently the book illustrated baby chickens come from eggs. One morning I got out of the shower to find the two of them in the kitchen. The oldest had already gone through one carton of eggs and was working on smashing each egg in the second carton. The youngest was skating and sliding through the egg mess all over the kitchen floor (and cupboards, chairs, you name it). In response to "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????" I got this reply ....... "but momma, we're just lookin for the one with the chick in it"

"I don't buy that kind of eggs boys, but maybe your dad does" :)

Someone Poked the BEAR!!!!!

It has happend. Someone poked the bear. (read my previous post if this seems somewhat strange to you)

I've deleted and restarted this post about 10 times so far. I think I need to simplify so I'm limiting myself to 3 of my biggest "pokes". This is a hard one for me to write because it hits some points that, in this small community, could really be detrimental to me. "Don't rock the boat" and all that jazz. On the other hand, the bear has been poked and I'm tired of trying to only say the 'right' things. I'm tired of worrying about everyone else's feelings when mine are ignored. Basically..... I'm tired of living in a lie along with the rest of this world. So here's my truth...... (and hopefully tonight I actually get some sleep)

What poked the bear?

#1 A society that doesn't believe anyone should really be responsible for themselves. A socialistic system that makes one person's laziness, or lack of drive, into everyone's problem. If you want a better life, why should it be MY job to provide it? Why shouldn't it be your job to find a way to make it happen for YOU? And on that note, on a personal level, why does our society believe I should lose everything to give someone else, who's not required to make any sacrifices, more?

#2 Posers. I say this at great risk as I live in a very small community, but from what I've seen and experienced (from both sides of the fence) is that people don't hold civic positions unless it benefits THEM. They put on a smile and they "fund-raise" and show up at school to give safety talks to the kids, but underneath, when you really need them...... they will fail you for the most part unless it makes them a 'hero' to actually help you. In all fairness, I know there are a few out there that are 'real'. I've met some. There are a few in this small town and every town across this country. They are incredible people and I'm greatful to them. I'm just saying, don't trust a "badge" or a "title" simply because someone else has paved the way for that badge or title. There are more than a few that ride that wave undeservingly. Sorry, but it's true and even the most "civic" of you can look around and if not at yourself, see others that this fits. If you can't - you aren't being honest about what you really see. I've been there.

3# Religion. People hide behind religion all the time. My husband was raised a Jehovah's Witness. He chose to leave that religion at the age of 18 because he didn't believe in it. He is not a stupid man. He is not a rebelious man. He is not an atheist or a non-spiritual man. He's actually pretty rational and able to sort through endless amounts of information and come up with his own interpretations and ideas. If he's guilty of anything, it's that he's an independent thinker.... he's not one of the cows that just follow along to wherever the other's are headed. (you've seen 'em - if not - just watch the entrance door at a Wal-Mart sometime) It cost him a great deal to actually believe in himself. It still does. He does not know his own nieces and nephews and never will....... thanks to religion??? Impressive. Way to go!..... I'm sure God is proud.

Poke the bear some more...... it's waking up. It's always interesting when this bear hits the wall and comes out fighting.

A Cold Winter's Night

Nighttime seems to have become my enemy lately. I've laid in bed for the past two hours trying to get back to sleep. That didn't work so I thought I'd check emails. Nothing there of course, most people don't return emails between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., but still, it was something to "do".

I have to be very, very quiet..... the house is full of sleeping little people and one big people that is still sound asleep. I envy him his ability to sleep even when his mind is overloaded and busy all day long. It's tempting to poke him in the ribs and wake him enough to let him know I can't sleep, but as my dad once said...... if you came across a hibernating bear, would you poke THAT???? True enough dad, good advice.

On a side note, just checked the weather and it's currently -26 degrees F. Hopefully school won't be late again this morning. A couple weeks ago our temperatures stayed so cold that school was late every day, except for the couple of days it was totally cancelled.

With that thought, I'm going to go sneak back into my warm bed and pretend to "wake up" with hubby in an hour or so. Sweet dreams!

The light dinner dilema

Him "should we go out for dinner?"
Me "That sounds really good, but I'm not all that hungry. Are you?"
Him "Not really, maybe we could make something light here and watch a movie."
Me "Sounds good!"

2 hours later we've created the world's most stuffed enchiladas and piled them high with all the cut up vegetables we both enjoy, not to mention a little extra cheese. Our "light dinner" had morphed into sci-fi proportions with little conscious thought from either of us.

As I rolled out of my bed this morning, literally..... I though I'd ask...... Does anyone else experience this dilema?

Finally Friday

A week in review........

My husband and I completed and installed this set of log stairs in a client's house. These projects are always fun for me. Gives me a nice feeling of accomplishment in the end. Now the staircase is ready for log railing and finishing. It's always a little amazing to start with an actual tree and end up with something like this. Not that it is an easy process especially with weather like we've been having. You have to start by crossing your fingers that the big outdoor saws work in the cold and that nothing breaks halfway through one of the long cuts. This time, it went perfectly! Then it's into the shop where at least it's nice and toasty warm. Hours of chainsaw work later, you have pieces.... lots of pieces and every one of those pieces now needs to be individually made beautiful. That's where I come in really handy. I like mindless work from time to time and there is nothing more mindless than spending hours and hours running a sander over a log.

I'm looking foward to later this month when we'll be back in the shop working on a log furniture order for another client.

My husband accomplished quite a bit more, or so he tells me. I haven't been back to the jobsite since install day, but I'm sure I'll get plenty of site time this weekend while the kids are at their dad's house. On the plus side, I get to wear a toolbelt and I'm pretty cute in one of those.

Hello and Welcome

It's another beautiful day here in the northland. Temperatures should reach above zero (maybe.... if we're that lucky). It's warmed up some though considering that when I threw my coffee out the door this morning it did not vaporize into thin air before hitting the ground. Instead, it hit the snowbank and left a brown spot that I will attempt to blame on the "serial squirrel". Unfortunately, this also means that I can't blow bubbles outside today and watch them freeze instead of pop when they land. So, here I am.......and if you're reading this, then here you are too!

Welcome. So what exactly is a blog titled "our life, our world and this mess" all about? It's intentionally vague for one reason...... I haven't decided yet. I know that everyday I spend way too much time online reading news articles and scrolling the horoscopes hoping mine will say "today you'll win the lottery". Since it hasn't said that yet, I haven't wasted much money on lotto tickets. Therefore, I haven't won and I'm still here.

I'm supposed to be figuring out a way for a carpenter/general contractor and a landscaper/dreamer to make income in this economy. So far, unfortunately, I haven't come up with any great ideas that are legal. Plenty that aren't, but I'm still holding out for the brain bubble that leaves me a legal option. Why? again.... I haven't decided yet.

I was on task a couple hours ago, but then the phone rang. This time it was NOT a bill collector. It was my hubby's ex, so I answered it because that's usually good for some entertainment at least. She insisted he had changed his cell phone number, I insisted he hadn't (which he hasn't). We played that game for a full 5 minutes before moving on to the real reason she's calling. Actually, I'm not sure we ever actually got to that.... I think it had to do with prescriptions for the kids. Apparently one of them projectile vomited all over his bedroom last night so he needs to go to the doctor today. There was some discussion about whether it's reasonable as a parent to expect a nearly 10 year old child to use a bucket for such issues. I did not win any points with my theory that accountability breeds responsibility. Possibly because those are just too big of words and the meaning was lost. At least that's the 'reason' I choose to believe :)

I plan to update this blog regularly. If nothing else, I'm hoping it will help to keep me somewhat sane during "Our life, our world and this mess". As for what it could do for you? Probably give you a laugh or two along the way.